Beware the Mustaches of March

As I mentioned in a previous post, March is time for another LFM tradition. The tradition is called Mustache March.



The rules laid out by the Mustache March Committee are simple:

February 13th: All LFM Mustache March contestants must report for inspection with a clean shaven face.

March 2nd: Facial hair must be trimmed into an acceptable mustache pattern. Inspection and pictures for documentation are conducted in the LFM office at lunch time. As defined by the governing board of this competition: A mustache is defined as an island of hair that is at least 3cm (root to root) from the nearest body of facial hair. A mustache is an island (no goatees).



March 14th: Judging will occur at 11:30 in E40-315 and yes, pictures will be taken! Each class will select a chosen representative for each category listed below, and then all LFMs present will vote. Awards will be given for the following categories:

• Best of Show - The name basically sums it up. This award is reserved for the most spectacular specimen produced over the course of the month.


• Most Disturbing - When you look at this mustache, goosebumps will appear in places you didn’t know you had follicles. If you saw a layman on the street with this mustache, you’d warn other peoples’ children about this man.


• Most Fitting - Sometimes the stars align and a man becomes something… more, with a mustache. This award is given to the mustache that makes a man greater than the sum of his otherwise wholly inadequate parts.


• Dirtlip Award - The little follicles that couldn’t.

The competition is for charity as outlined below by the Mustache March Committee:

In these tough times, the students of the Leaders for Manufacturing program at MIT would like to lend a helping hand to those in need (through the Red Sox foundation) in the best way we know how…..by growing ridiculous mustaches and wearing them through the month of march!!! Take a look at our ridiculous faces!

LFM Mustache March Pictures

Yes, we will be walking around in public with these things all month!! Please show your pity for us looking like this while at the same time helping a great charity by following the link below.

Red Sox Foundation

And better yet, the growth has just started! We will be taking more pictures on March 13, and picking a group of finalists in various mustache categories including:

Best overall
Most fitting
Most disturbing
Best dirtlip

All those who donate to the cause will have the opportunity to vote in the final contest. Thank you for supporting our beautiful facial follicles!!

My Dreary Perspective

Now that the competition and rules are clear to everyone, it is time to lament. I have never considered myself a very attractive man…but I’m no “Ron Howard’s brother” either.

While Ron isn't exactly a dream boat, I think its easy to tell that his brother is the one on the left

With my terrible attempt at a mustache, I pass Ron Howard’s brother on the unattractive scale. When I’m around the LFM office I don’t feel too bad because I am surrounded by other terrible looking individuals.

/a>

There is a certain safety in surrounding yourself with other unattractive people. Like how every group of hot girls you ever knew had THAT one friend who looked like these guys from the movie Sorority Boys. This ugly friend was kept around to make the hot girls look even hotter, tell the hot girls how good they look, and to say she wishes she looked like them. P.S. If you think your group of friends did not have one of those people...you're THAT person

It is when I have to venture out to the rest of campus that my self esteem drops to sub-zero levels. I’ve found that the key to walking around with a mustache is to just avoid eye contact with all people…then you don’t have to feel them judging you…or see them laughing at you. :- ) Rockin’ this ’stache, I find myself very interested in the walls of the halls…it keeps my face hidden as I pass people.

My face, you cannot see it