Journey to the Dark Side

Sometimes you feel this burning desire inside yourself to force a new tradition upon your circle of friends. The flame of my desire was lit more than 5 years ago during one of the yearly Georgia stompings by the Florida football team. My band of idiots ran into another band of idiots who similarly worship at the alter of college football. The conversation started innocently enough with my friend Chatty McCatterson asking two strangers why one had on a Florida shirt and one had on a Georgia shirt. The duo explained that they did not pull for the Red and Black or the Orange and Blue. They picked a big-time rivalry game every year and took a trip.

What a concept. Like traveling abroad allows you to experience different cultures...traveling across the US can open you to different college football cultures. Needless to say, our minds were blown apart. Think of the possibilities...at Southbend where Touchdown Jesus cuts the Kentucky Blue Grass a little longer than normal in an attempt to slow down the mighty Trojans...or the Red River Shootout where you can pre-game with fried corn dogs, fried Oreos, fried Snickers, and even fried Coke...or at the Horseshoe or the Big House for The Game...or at the Linc to see the Cadets and Midshipmen walk out with their football team. Magical!

At the time we were poor college students so the idea had to roll around and ferment in our brains for a couple of years as we matured into adults with j-o-b-s and all. During this time, we continued to discuss the idea along with places to visit. Eventually, we wrote all of the sites down into a comprehensive list and now that we have reached that state of adulthood, it is time to get our rivalry on.

For our first and opening salvo, we selected the "Clean, old-fashioned hate" rivalry between the University of Georgia Bulldogs (UGA) and the Georgia Institute of Technology Yellow Jackets (GT). Why start here? Why does this rivalry merit the honors of firsts? It boils down to location. The game takes place during a weekend we had free (Thanksgiving) and it is a drivable distance from the majority of the group (about 6 hours). There is also a little bit of mystique about the field between the Hedges. See, Gators don't generally go to Athens.

Now, my pack of idiots were brought up correctly. With class. In jean shorts. We worship at Spurrier and Urban's National Championship encrusted Thrones which rises up out of the swamp-filled land that is Florida Football...where Blue and Orange bleed out of the very ground like crystal clear spring water. And you see...it has been decided that Georgia shall receive their yearly spanking from Florida in the city of Jacksonville, at the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Since 1933, aside from the home-and-home played in 94-and-95 when the stadium was being rebuilt, this rivalry has always been played in Jacksonville. As Florida Football fans, none of us have ever had reason to venture into the enemy territory known as Athens. Gator Football does not travel there. Considering that Gator football goes to the urine stained city of Tallahassee...what does that say about Athens? Enough about Florida Football, this is about the rivalry.

Another striking and wonderful thing about the UGA-GT rivalry is the undeniable and deep-seated hatred between the two schoools. Exhibit A) I present to you the Georgia fight song (that is, if you ask any Georgia fan you meet...technically this is not the official fight song...and technically the last line is not official...but everyone knows that is just Politically-Correct-Hogwash):

Glory, glory to ole Georgia!

Glory, glory to ole Georgia!

Glory, glory to ole Georgia!

And to hell (or heck) with Georgia Tech!

And then you may or may not repeat.

Now you may say "wow, only 9 different words in the whole song!" Please remember, people from Georgia are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Now, I present to you the GT fight song:

I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech, and a hell of an engineer--

A helluva, helluva, helluva, helluva, hell of an engineer.

Like all the jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear.

I'm a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an engineer.

Oh! If I had a daughter, sir, I'd dress her in White and Gold,

And put her on the campus to cheer the brave and bold.

But if I had a son, sir, I'll tell you what he'd do--

He would yell, 'To hell with Georgia!' like his daddy used to do.

Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar three thousand pounds,

A college bell to put it in and a clapper to stir it round.

I'd drink to all the good fellows who come from far and near.

I'm a ramblin', gamblin', hell of an engineer!

After this one you may say "wow, they like to curse and swear at GT!" Don't be fooled. The nerd is cunning. The nerd is deceptive. The nerd is attempting to fool you. No matter how it camouflages itself, it is still a nerd.

The conclusion you should draw out of these two fight songs is that Georgia and Georgia Tech really do hate each other. They even state their hatred in their fight songs, just to make sure you know it and don't forget it.

And now, on to the journey. For various reasons of adult lameness, majority of the group fell through this year and our group was limited to just two. No matter. Onward to Athens!

We started the slow drive to Athens from Jacksonville listening to the sweet soothing tones of AM radio as we tried to follow the results of this year's Iron Bowl. Cam Newton and Auburn were surprisingly getting destroyed by Bama. What gives? Don't worry, Cam will eventually prove that the SEC has the best players money can buy...and don't you forget it!

As we meandered our way through the back woods of Georgia on non-interstate roads we were taken back to a day before interstates. It was a simpler time. A time when state highways were the roads of choice and motels were the respectable. We saw all of those hotels of course...or at least the rotting carcasses. The few that were open...well, hopefully they give out tetanus shots with the room keys.

Along the way we also witnessed the southern economic power that is Dairy Queen. It seems that every tiny and insignificant town in Georgia has its own Dairy Queen...and why wouldn't they? You can't expect people in Georgia to drive to the next town for their Dairy Queen. It can take a good half hour or more to reach the next town. I don't care how thick that Blizzard is...after sitting in a car for a half hour, it will not remain in the cup when you turn it upside down. Of course we had no need to stop at any of these Dairy Queens because we got our Dairy Queen Blizzards at the first one we saw (still in Florida) and Dairy Queen twice in one day? Ridiculous!

Eventually the AM radio failed us and we drove on thinking Auburn was getting destroyed. When we made it back into cell phone range (remember...we're in Georgia...they still use rotary phones there) we found out that Auburn was making a comeback. After a few week attempts to stream audio from either a Verizon or a AT&T phone, we went back to a fuzzy AM signal and listened to mighty Bama fall. Sweetness.

Eventually we arrived in Athens and after dropping our bags at the HoJo we headed straight to the Varsity. Holy crap, was the food there good. They put chili on everything and it is mighty fine chili. I went with a chili-dog, chili-burger, fries, and a coke combo. Divine. How did we know to go the Varsity? Well...I have a shameful confession to make. Hello, my name is Drew and I'm related to Georgia fans. You say "Hi Drew" in response. I nod, grimace, and shamefully swallow my guilt. The one positive about being related to Georgia fans is the inside knowledge of Athens they can provide. Beyond that...well...yeah.

After that, we drove around the downtown/bar area until we found parking and began our trek on enemy territory. For many of the other rivalry games we plan to attend I fully intend to proudly wear my Florida gear. Since we were in the lions den, we both elected for a more low-key appearance. Neutral black jackets and sweaters. Not getting beat up or spit on by rednecks, for the win!

• A quick shot of most of the bars we visited

After immediately stumbling on the famous Georgia arches (and being so underwhelmed we had to ask if this was in fact "the" arches) we proceeded to bar hop until late until the evening. Athens has a pretty good bar scene and none of the bars had a line or a cover so it was so easy to go exploring. Pretty nice for a visitor considering many college towns that I have been to, you would need to have a bar picked out, get there early, and pay a cover just for the privileged of overpaying for drinks.

The next morning (Game day) started early, about 8 AM (for a 7:45 PM game), with a thorough exploration of the UGA campus. We started with a nice little breakfast at The Grill and my goodness, it was tasty. We also set next to someone who looked like a former football player, was wearing a Monday Night Football jacket, and clearly had some championship ring...but we did not recognize him. My guess is he just works for Monday Night Football staff and used to play football, but he was not a commentator or anything.

While driving around campus (just to scope it and parking out before walking around) we ventured by my sister's sorority house. After that we tried to find the Forestry building (my dad's building), but the Google maps was failing us. We probably walked/drove by it 10 times but we never saw a sign to get a picture of. It was while we were parked to jump out and look for the Forestry building that we realized why we were getting such disgusting looks from all of the early morning tailgaters that we drove by...we had a Gator license plate on the front. We kind of forgot about that when we decided to slow drive around campus...probably best to park the car in a discreet location and start walking.

As fate was smiling on us this weekend, we parked next to Florida street. It just felt a little cleaner. Joe, in his Boston Redsox hat and neutral black jacket, bravely Gator chomps his car with a Gator license plate on the front and back.

• Top left: the sorority house
• Bottom left: Famous railroad tracks by the stadium (how drunks find their way home)
• Bottom middle: Chomp chomp...living dangerously

Then, we made our way over to the stadium to see what we could see.

After a thorough tour of campus, we headed to a bar to settle down for some of the other rivalry games on the TV. We started the day out with a little Michigan-Ohio State but as Michigan still sucks, it was not much of a game. As that game drug on, we left the bar and headed to Little Italy for some delicious pizza. After pizza, we found another bar to watch Florida-Florida State but as Florida still sucks, it was also not much of a game. Most Georgia fans were cheering against Florida (surprise surprise) and not rooting for the SEC. Can't say I blame them for your biggest rival (in this case, Florida)...but after that, you better cheer for your conference when it comes to out-of-conference games.

After the Florida game, we headed outside to find tickets. It took us 1 block and 1 scalper to find good seats at a good price (to be fair, both teams were having a mediocre season). After that, it was time to get to the stadium. Our seats were on the goal line of the open end of the stadium and a little more than halfway up. I think it was technically a GT section but there was a pretty even mix of Georgia and Tech fans.

Overall, the stadium was enjoyable. The crowd was lively and we were surrounded by all of the typical inebriated college football fans. I loved seeing a college aged Tech fan wildly screaming something at another college aged Georgia fan, and then kindly patting an 80 year old looking lady Tech fan next to him saying "don't worry, we'll all work for you someday" with a friendly smile.

• Here the band spells Georgia just to ensure the residents of the state know how to spell it

The game itself was quite exciting. Georgia looked like the better team most of the night but  Tech just kept grinding and kept themselves in the game. The excitement came near the end of the game when, after a two touchdown comeback and a tragically missed extra point, Tech found themselves down 1. Georgia had the ball with a couple minutes to go and after burning their timeouts and a few key Georgia first downs it was clear that all Georgia had to do was run out the clock. Time for the stadium to empty and both Georgia and Tech fans start racing for the exits. As I have never left a game early and definitely wanted a picture of Joe and I post game, we were going nowhere. It was at this point that Tech called their final time out and brought all of the boys in. After a quick calculator session and a few derivations they discovered something clever. It was time to line up again and although I could not hear it, I bet the Tech players were talking some smack. Georgia lines up for a simple running play from 35+ yards from the end-zone, hikes the ball, and then something strange happens...none of the Tech players try to stop him. The Georgia running back runs through the line unimpeded and easily sprints for a touch down. Woo, the Georgia fans and players go wild. YES! Running up the score on a hated opponent. Nothing in life is sweeter. Then, a hush fell over the stadium. The silence happened almost immediately in the Tech section and once the Georgia fans got their shoes off and started counting they too fell silent. After the extra point, Tech would only be down by 8, with the ball, and with 1 minute to go. Tech was still in this game. If they scored and went for two, it would be tied and heading into overtime. What the heck just happened? The Georgia fans started screaming...to them, "those damn engineers cheated! They used math to their advantage. **** ********! Why, oh why did that running back score?" Even though the Georgia fans did not think about how they should not score, they are now furious at the players for not realizing it. But alas, there is no time to think about this because Georgia is kicking and Tech is about to try to run the field in 1 minute.

Luckily for Georgia, Tech and their QB are not known for or good at passing. They have gone entire games with less than 3 passes. While Tech did manage to march about halfway down the field, eventually they encountered third and long and after some lame-duck passes, it was over. Now the Georgia fans can start celebrating (again) and the mass exodus from the stadium can begin again.

We eventually headed back to the car (surprised to find that the Florida pieces were not vandalized...but then again the Georgia fans were in a good mood) and then proceeded to the Varsity for some more chili-covered food. Once we were full we headed to the hotel for bed and an early drive home.

Even though I am a rabid Florida fan I will admit that the Georgia campus is beautiful. Athens is an awesome party town and I love that none of the bars have covers, so it is easy to bar hop. Every meal I had was OUTSTANDING! The Varsity was my favorite, but then I do love greasy burgers and fries. As for the stadium, I cannot believe they have left one side as open as they have (Florida was once a horseshoe and is now filled in). Fill that thing in and make the place louder and get more tickets. You've got the room. Just relocate that road running next to the stadium. Although, as a fan...it is pretty cool that you can see into the stadium from the road. As far as the rivalry goes, we picked a good one (and a great game) to kick-off this new tradition. The fans berated each other all night and you could tell that the game was special to the players on the field (despite mediocre seasons). College football passion. Love it.